THE STRUGGLE OF OPENING UP ABOUT EATING DISORDERS
In the last blog post we addressed the topic of eating disorders and disordered eating within the climbing community. We know that the issue is prevalent and that many climbers are struggling with this and that the lived experience of this disorder is very isolating.
From the outside, you won't be able to tell if someone is struggling with an eating disorder. Yes – changes in body weight, can be a warning signal, but there are many other reasons a person might experience changes in body weight. And there are many people struggling with very serious eating disorders and their body weight, never changes.
What are potential warning signs?
Potential warning signs for an eating disorder can include (but are not limited to):
Social withdrawal and changes in mood
lack of engagement in social situations which involve food
unusual clothing (e.g. wearing puffet jackets in summer, when they really should not be that cold)
when someone is expressing that they are experiencing a lot of stress (at school, at university, at their job or in their personal life)
preoccupation with food, diets, weight, exercise
changes in body size.
This list of warning signs is non-exhaustive.
What can you do if someone shows any warning signs or if you suspect someone to have developed or is developing an eating disorder?
If you know a climber and observe some of these warning signals, you might want to reach out and ask if they need any help. Obviously, there can also be other reasons or causes to these behviours or signs than an eating disorder. But being offering an open ear and signaling that you care, is never wrong. If you choose to address your concerns for someone to them, we would encourage you to be open-minded and non-judgmental.
You may also consider external factors when addressing your concerns: try approaching that person in a calm situation rather than in a group context. Also be aware that the person might not want to talk about it (in general, yet or with you). If that’s the case, that is absolutely okay.
You could say something like:
🔸 "I noticed, you don't join our climbing group when we go get food after training, like you used to. Are you okay? Is there anything you want to talk about? I just want you to know, that you can always talk to me, if you like."
🔸 "You mentioned that you wanted to lose more weight to climb harder. Are you okay? I wanted you to know that you can always talk to me, if you want."
🔸 "How are you doing at the moment? I have the impression you are pretty stressed at the moment, is there anything you want to talk about? I'm here for you to listen."
When someone does open up to you about struggling with an eating disorder, or you know someone struggling we would encourage you to find out if they are receiving adequat professional help. If not you could ask them, if they want you to help in finding the help they need. You could offer to make phone calls or gather information for them. Additionally, you could ask if there is anything else that you can do to help them or refrain from doing to help them.
“I knew very early, when I developed an eating disorder, that this was an issue. I was struggling with my school work and training so much and really wanted to talk to someone about all the things that were burdening me. In those early stages I struggled to put my emotions and what I was experiencing to words - I had no words for what I was experiencing. As a consequence, whenever I started to open up to someone and was trying to find words for it, I was interrupted before even expressing all the things that were burdening me. Instead, I was interrupted with suggestions like: "Oh, you should just do that." "Oh, you just need to do this."
This kept me away from receiving the treatment I needed for such a long time. Only years later of struggling with an eating disorder and having become an expert in hiding it, something within me changed. I no longer felt like I needed the external validation of the pain I was experiencing to feel like I deserved treatment. I could see my pain, I could feel my suffering, and that on its own was enough for me to talk and take myself seriously in this. Now years later, I sometimes think abut this younger me, desperately wanting to talk about all the difficult emotions and thoughts I was experiencing earlier and not feeling like I deserved to express them. I often wonder how things would have gone, if I had received treatment earlier."
(Climber, that wanted to stay anonymously)
Please remember: you can not make anybody recover from an eating disorder but whenever someone does open up: listen to them carefully, ask questions, assure them that you are not there to judge, be present and know that it is probably hard to put into words what they are experiencing. Additionally, it is important that you recognize your own limits and know that you are not be able to support your friend alone in this.
Disclaimer: We from Climbing Psychology work preventively and on educating climbers, coaches and parents on the issue of eating disorders and disordered eating. We believe education is key to create awareness – and in turn, change. If you want to educate yourself even more on these topics, sign up now on our waitlist for our Coach Education Classes.